By Olivia LaRosa
I know where to get good tangerine juice. Honest. I was rushed one day, and bought what I thought was tangerine juice at Safeway.
Tangerine juice is as tasty as orange juice, but less acidic for those of us with delicate tummies. It is 100% juice.
But what I got at Safeway was definitely not tangerine juice! And who knows what 100% juice really means in a day when McDonald’s claims to have an all-beef patty ™ because it trademarked the name.
My best friend read the label before I could return with nice clean ruby-cut juice glasses. He said, “I don’t think that this is really tangerine juice.” I sagged in dismay. I poured an inch into my glass and tasted it. I could barely swallow it. And this, from a woman who used to claim that she had a cast-iron stomach, for reasons beyond her ken.
The alleged beverage is named Dole Sensation Natural Tangerine, with a 100% Natural leafy icon in the lower left corner. I laughed. In leetle tiny letters in the lower right, I now see that it is: “Juice blend from concentrate with other natural flavors.”
They can’t fool me. I have done my homework. I have eaten lots of fast food, but not on purpose.* I read Fast Food Nation and Supersize Me. So-called natural flavors can be a synthetic chemical compound just like artificial flavors. After I get done blowing off steam here, I am writing to Dole. The carton sits right next to my machine.
*Except for In-and-Out Burger, which is the only fast food chain with consistently high marks from Fast Food Nation. I eat there because the burgers are delicious, not because of any rating system. Good hamburgers and bacon keep me from becoming a total vegetarian. *snicker*